Dwain Northey (Gen X)

So our a lustrous leader is making us the butt of the world, his renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, wanting to take the Panama Cannel, saying he is going to take the Gaza Strip… oh and there is the entire Greenland deal, the best part is Greenland is hitting back.

First, President Donald Trump floated the idea of buying Greenland.  Now, Denmark is flipping the script with its own offer for one of America’s richest and most populous states.

A satirical petition making the rounds in Denmark suggests that if the United States is in the business of acquiring its Greenland territory, maybe Denmark should get in on the action. The plan? Snag California, throw in some hygge and call it New Denmark.

“Have you ever looked at a map and thought, ‘You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates,’” the petition reads. “Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality.”

The proposal, which has reportedly gathered nearly 200,000 signatures, makes a strong pitch: Denmark could brighten its gray skies for 300 days of California sunshine, secure Silicon Valley for better or worse and ensure an endless supply of avocados — since California grows about 90% of the nation’s stash. Meanwhile, Disneyland would be rebranded as Hans Christian Andersenland, dressing Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet. Though the petition doesn’t say if Sacramento would remain the state capitol, Solvang may be a better bet.

The “Tremendous Plan,” as organizers call it, comes with a hefty price tag of around $1 trillion, which they estimate could be covered if every Danish citizen chips in around 200,000 kroner (roughly $28,000). Negotiators would include Denmark’s finest dealmakers — executives from Lego, the cast of “Borgen” and perhaps a few Viking reenactors for good measure.

For those willing to invest in the cause, organizers have thrown in a few incentives: a personalized thank-you from the Danish royal family, a virtual tour of Danishwood studios, a lifetime supply of California-grown avocados (shipping not included) or, for the deep-pocketed donor, a private stretch of Malibu beach.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Denmark and Trump have butted heads over imaginary real estate deals. In 2019, Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen called Trump’s idea of purchasing Greenland “absurd,” prompting Trump to cancel his planned visit to Copenhagen. Greenland’s leader, Múte Egede, quickly reinforced that the territory was not for sale.

Since returning to office, Trump and his allies have revived the idea, even claiming — without evidence — that most Greenlanders want to become U.S. citizens. Recent polls from Denmark and Greenland suggest otherwise.

The petition also plays into the long-standing friction between California and Trump. The state has overwhelmingly rejected him in three straight elections, while Gov. Gavin Newsom has spent much of his tenure positioning California as a direct counterweight to Trump’s policies. Trump, for his part, has dubbed California a “failed” state, has clashed with its leaders on everything from environmental regulations to immigration and, most recently, has targeted its high-speed rail project.

Selling off California would be a risky deal for the U.S. The state is the world’s fifth-largest economy and a critical hub for agriculture, energy, tech, transportation, and entertainment. It is also one of the few states that pay more in federal taxes than they receive. If California were to hypothetically rebrand as New Denmark, the economic fallout would be massive. 

Good for you Denmark calling out the stupidity…