Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Wanna Be King Donald is a master of political spin, and if faced with a situation where his Washington, D.C. military parade drew a fraction of the attendance seen at nationwide “No Kings” rallies, he would quickly pivot the narrative. He’d likely frame the parade as a symbol of true patriotism, emphasizing strength, order, and American exceptionalism. In his telling, the military display would be portrayed not merely as a show of force, but as a tribute to veterans, service members, and the “real” America—those who, in his view, defend the flag rather than critique the system.

Trump would likely downplay the massive turnout for the “No Kings” rallies by questioning their motives, branding participants as “radical leftists,” “globalists,” or “anti-American agitators.” He might claim that their numbers were inflated by the media or orchestrated by political enemies. Meanwhile, he would paint his parade as a unifying event, a “love of country” spectacle that allegedly brought together “patriots from all walks of life.”

Expect heavy use of hyperbole—terms like “the most beautiful parade ever seen,” “a moment history will never forget,” or “more inspiring than any protest.” He would likely post edited crowd shots and clips from the event to create the impression of overwhelming support. In Trump’s narrative, the meaning of patriotism is not measured in turnout, but in loyalty, symbolism, and spectacle—and he’d position his parade as the ultimate proof of devotion to the nation, regardless of the actual numbers.