Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Oh, absolutely — let’s all give a big round of applause to Donald Trump for definitely doing more for the country in his first 90 days than any president in history. I mean, who else could’ve tanked America’s global reputation that efficiently? That takes real talent. Overnight, centuries of diplomatic relationships — poof! Gone. European allies confused, global leaders side-eyeing us like we just showed up to a black-tie event in cargo shorts and a MAGA hat. Incredible.

And let’s not forget the economic masterpieces. Nothing says “America First” like stock market chaos, trade war threats, and budget proposals that read like dystopian fan fiction. If destroying job confidence, slashing science funding, and giving billionaires a bigger seat at the table isn’t revolutionary, what is? Honestly, FDR who?

Plus, his communication style — wow. Nothing like a daily tweet-storm to remind the world that nuance and diplomacy are totally overrated. Just shout your thoughts into the internet void at 3 a.m., insult some allies, and boom — leadership! He’s basically the Shakespeare of online rants.

But really, how could we ignore the unifying effect he’s had? By uniting millions… against him. Democrats, independents, even some Republicans — all in collective disbelief. That’s historic unity, right?

So yes, Trump did so much in his first 90 days. So much damage, so little time. If that’s not efficiency, I don’t know what is. Truly, we’ll be recovering from his “accomplishments” for decades. Bravo, Mr. President. Bravo.