Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Oh, of course the actual news is a hoax—just ask any die-hard Trump Republican. CNN? Fake. The New York Times? Practically fiction. The Washington Post? Might as well be a Harry Potter novel. But don’t worry, the real truth—the absolute truth—can be found between the commercial breaks of Fox News and in the Twitter reposts of OANN. Because who needs investigative journalism when you have a guy in a red tie yelling “witch hunt” on Truth Social?

According to this loyal sect, Trump never lied. Not once. Not even when he said Mexico would pay for the wall or that COVID would “just disappear.” No, those were obviously misinterpreted prophecies—and the media, with their sneaky habit of using direct quotes and actual video footage, just doesn’t get nuance like Fox does.

If Trump says he declassified documents by “thinking about it,” then by golly, that’s how declassification works now. Science, law, basic reality? All deep state conspiracies meant to confuse the faithful. And if he didn’t build the wall or drain the swamp? That’s only because the Democrats, windmills, and probably Hunter Biden’s laptop stopped him.

Meanwhile, OANN and friends are busy rewriting history in real time, insisting January 6 was just a peaceful guided tour and that Trump is still, technically, president—if you squint hard enough and ignore the Constitution.

So yes, in MAGA-world, the truth isn’t just stranger than fiction—it is fiction, with a big gold “TRUMP” logo on top.