Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Oh, brilliant strategy, really — fire the guy who reports the employment and economic numbers because clearly, math is the enemy now. Can’t have actual data floating around when it doesn’t match Dear Leader’s fantasy of “the best economy in the history of the world,” right? Who needs pesky little things like facts, when you’ve got slogans, red hats, and Facebook memes?

And let’s not even start on the whole “I’m gonna lower drug prices by 1,500%” fantasy. First off, someone might want to whisper to Trump that you can’t lower something more than 100% unless you’re actually handing out free meds and paying people to take them. But again — math, that liberal conspiracy, always ruining the mood with its “logic” and “numbers.”

The MAGA faithful, bless their numerically illiterate hearts, just nod along like bobbleheads at a demolition derby. “It’s cheaper now, I feel it!” they cry while paying $300 for insulin that costs $10 in literally every other industrialized country. But don’t worry — it’s all going to plan! Trump’s just waiting for the math to surrender, or maybe he’ll appoint Ivanka as Secretary of Arithmetic next.

Honestly, who needs economists or scientists or anyone who passed high school algebra when you’ve got blind loyalty and a hat that tells you what to think?