Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Painting the wall black is the latest masterstroke of genius from the “build the wall” crowd—a cosmetic fix masquerading as policy. Apparently, the idea is that slapping a coat of black paint on steel slats will magically turn it into a super deterrent, a wall so menacing and ominous that people will simply stop attempting to cross it. Of course, the first wall itself accomplished exactly nothing. It didn’t halt immigration, it didn’t end smuggling, and it didn’t solve the root causes that push people to come here. What it did do was create a very expensive, very symbolic photo op—steel and concrete as political theater.

Now, Christie Noem and the MAGA architects of this plan want to double down with Sherwin-Williams authoritarian chic. Painting it black is supposed to make it hotter in the sun so that migrants won’t touch it, or maybe it’s supposed to look scarier on Fox News drone shots. Either way, it’s a band-aid painted in asphalt gloss on the gaping wound of failed immigration policy. The original wall created more ladders, more tunnels, and more desperation. This will create, at best, slightly more blistered hands—and the exact same result: not a damn thing.

The wall was never a real solution; it was always a campaign prop, a chant to rally the faithful. Painting it black is just the sequel nobody asked for—a lazy metaphor for the emptiness of the policy itself. Like the wall before it, this will be nothing more than a costly monument to futility. Because at the end of the day, immigration isn’t stopped by barriers or paint jobs—it’s addressed with policy, diplomacy, and humanity. But those don’t make for catchy slogans. Black paint, apparently, does.