Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Labor Day is here again, which means burgers, beer, and a few politicians pretending to care about workers while secretly plotting how to squeeze them for every last dime. So let’s set the record straight: if you’re enjoying that long weekend, you should be sending a thank-you card to liberals and organized labor. Because the last time the Republican Party actually gave a damn about unions, Eisenhower was in office, gas was 30 cents a gallon, and Elvis was still scandalous for shaking his hips on TV.

Dwight D. Eisenhower, bless him, once said only a fool would try to break unions. Well, after Ike, the GOP apparently decided “fool” was their official brand identity. Barry Goldwater lit the match, Ronald Reagan poured gasoline all over it by firing the air traffic controllers in 1981, and every Republican since has been dancing around the flames of corporate greed like it’s some kind of patriotic bonfire.

Since then, the GOP playbook has been pretty simple: weaken unions, block wage increases, gut pensions, and sell it all to you with a bow-wrapped slogan like “right-to-work.” Sounds nice, right? Who wouldn’t want the right to work? Except it’s really the right to work for less money, fewer benefits, and no job security while your boss pockets record profits and buys his third yacht. Congratulations, worker—you get a pat on the back while Wall Street buys another island.

Meanwhile, union membership plummeted—not because workers stopped wanting fair treatment, but because Republicans made sure organizing a union was harder than getting Taylor Swift tickets online. Court rulings stacked with conservative justices? Check. State legislatures gleefully passing union-busting laws? Double check. And every time workers cry out for fair wages, Republicans tell them to be grateful for the scraps. After all, in their worldview, CEOs are “job creators” and workers are just lucky to exist in their shadow.

Compare that to liberals, who—though far from perfect—have consistently fought to give workers a fighting chance. Democrats brought us the minimum wage, Social Security, Medicare, OSHA, family leave, workplace safety standards, and yes, the very idea that you shouldn’t work yourself into the grave before you’re 50. Today, it’s liberals pushing for higher wages, student debt relief, universal healthcare, and stronger unions, while Republicans are busy protecting billionaires from paying an extra nickel in taxes.

So this Labor Day, when Republicans wrap themselves in the flag and talk about freedom, remember what they mean: freedom for corporations to exploit you, freedom for the wealthy to hoard profits, and freedom for workers to quietly accept less. If you’ve got a weekend, thank a liberal. If you’ve got overtime pay, thank a union. If you’ve got retirement security, thank progressive politics.

Republicans? They’ve given you… what exactly? Oh right—an economy where your boss can fire you over text message, call you a “contractor” to dodge benefits, and then funnel your labor into his stock dividends. Maybe the next time the GOP shows up at a Labor Day parade, workers should hand them a broom—because the only job they’ve been doing is sweeping away your rights.