Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Florida has long branded itself as the “Sunshine State,” but somewhere along the way, the glow turned into a spotlight on a parade of bad ideas. For years, it’s been less a beacon of freedom and more the kid in the neighborhood who insists on eating glue and then acts shocked when the stomachache sets in. And leading this crusade into the swamp of terrible policy is none other than Governor Ron DeSantis and his band of yes-men, who’ve managed to make Florida synonymous with political stunts and public health hazards.

It started, at least in the modern chapter, with DeSantis’s war against Disney. You know, Disney—the company responsible for making childhood dreams, family vacations, and mouse-ear hats. But apparently, being tolerant of LGBTQ employees and guests was one magic kingdom too far for the governor. Instead of focusing on things like infrastructure, affordable housing, or climate change (you know, the stuff actually flooding his state), DeSantis threw his weight into punishing the House of Mouse. It was less a bold stand and more like a toddler screaming at his toys because they wouldn’t play his way.

But the Disney debacle was just one act in a much longer-running theater of bad ideas. Florida was one of the earliest adopters of “Stand Your Ground” laws, the kind of legislation that makes gun manufacturers salivate and the rest of us wonder if we’re living in a spaghetti western. These laws have given Floridians the green light to escalate conflicts into shootouts under the guise of self-defense. Predictably, they’ve done wonders for gun violence statistics and absolutely nothing for public safety. But hey, in Florida, it seems every confrontation is just one itchy trigger finger away from becoming headline news.

Then came the great book purge. Because nothing says “freedom” quite like banning books. Across Florida schools, everything from novels about racial history to young adult fiction with LGBTQ characters has been yanked off shelves faster than a library sale on free Slurpee Day. The result? Students are learning less about history, diversity, and critical thinking, and more about how fragile adults can be when confronted with ideas they don’t like.

And just when you thought the state couldn’t possibly top itself, here comes the pièce de résistance: no more vaccine mandates of any kind. That’s right. The governor and his Surgeon General—who seems to think “public health” is a phrase best avoided—have decided that not even children need to be vaccinated to attend school. Forget the decades of progress against measles, chickenpox, whooping cough, or polio. Florida is ready to roll back the clock to the good old days when childhood illnesses spread unchecked and cemeteries filled up faster than theme park parking lots.

What does this mean for the rest of us? Simple: Florida is about to become the kid who poops in the pool. And not just once—repeatedly. Thanks to interstate travel, contagious diseases won’t politely stay behind the state line. Nope, they’ll spread outward like a tourist’s sunburn, carried across the country by snowbirds, spring breakers, and business travelers.

So thank you, Florida. Thank you for reminding us that sunlight isn’t always the best disinfectant. Sometimes it just illuminates the bad decisions in full, glaring detail. And with leadership this committed to being wrong, the only thing we can count on is that the hits—and the diseases—will just keep coming.