Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Let’s get one thing straight right out of the gate: MAGA is not a political party, it’s not even a political “movement.” It’s a cult. A big, red-hat-wearing, grievance-chanting, logic-immune cult. You can slap some stars and stripes on it, have rallies that look like NASCAR meets Pentecostal revival, and pretend it’s all about patriotism—but at the end of the day, it functions less like a serious ideology and more like the Church of Trump, where loyalty to the Dear Leader is the only sacrament.

Political parties debate policy. Movements advocate for ideas. Cults, however, demand blind allegiance to one man, insist on rewriting reality to fit his narrative, and excommunicate anyone who dares to ask questions. Sound familiar? MAGA doesn’t have a platform beyond “whatever Trump feels like today.” Remember when the Republican National Committee literally gave up writing a platform in 2020 and just said, “We support Trump”? That’s not politics. That’s a cult’s mission statement: “Our doctrine is whatever the prophet tweeted at 3 a.m.”

And let’s not overlook the rituals. The rallies are indistinguishable from revival tents, complete with the chanting of slogans, mass displays of merchandise (all proceeds, of course, funneled to the leader’s coffers), and the ecstatic belief that Trump is simultaneously a persecuted martyr and an all-powerful savior. Logic doesn’t enter into it. A political movement would ask, “What policies make sense?” MAGA asks, “How can we better worship the man who can’t walk down a ramp without assistance but assures us he’s the most vigorous specimen of humanity alive?”

The paranoia also reeks of cult dynamics. MAGA devotees are convinced they alone see “the truth,” while the rest of the world is brainwashed. Never mind that their version of “truth” involves lizard-people Democrats drinking baby blood and Hugo Chávez hacking voting machines from beyond the grave. Cults thrive on paranoia. Political movements, in contrast, thrive on ideas. The MAGA idea is simply: if you don’t worship Trump, you’re a traitor.

Of course, every cult needs enemies. And oh, how the MAGA church loves its enemies: the media, the “deep state,” immigrants, anyone who uses pronouns other than what Fox & Friends approve of. Enemies justify the persecution complex that keeps the cult glued together. After all, what’s a messiah without the evil empire supposedly trying to destroy him?

And let’s not ignore the financial angle. Cults are always about money, and MAGA is no different. You can’t just show up and believe—you’ve got to buy the merch, donate to the PACs that cover legal bills, and, if possible, tithe your Social Security check directly into Trump’s defense fund. A political movement tries to raise money to win elections. A cult tries to drain every last penny from its members while assuring them that bankruptcy is simply a test of faith.

Ultimately, what makes MAGA a cult and not a political movement is that it requires the total suspension of reality. Gas is $3.50? Trump would have made it 25 cents. Hurricanes? Never happened before Biden. Indictments? Just proof of his holiness. Cult members don’t care if the predictions never come true, if the contradictions pile up, if the leader is a walking scandal factory. Their faith is impervious.

So let’s stop pretending. MAGA isn’t a movement to “make America great again.” It’s a cult dedicated to making one man feel great about himself, again and again, no matter the cost to democracy, decency, or basic human intelligence. The red hats aren’t symbols of patriotism; they’re membership badges in the Church of Trump, where questioning is heresy, loyalty is salvation, and reality is optional.

And the cruelest irony? Like all cults, MAGA will eventually burn out. The question is whether it takes the rest of us with it before the Kool-Aid runs dry.