Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Kamala Harris warned us, point-blank, during the campaign: “If I come into the White House, I’ll bring a to-do list. Donald Trump will bring an enemies list.” Turns out, she was being charitable. Donald didn’t bring just an enemies list—he brought a middle-school burn book, complete with glitter glue, Sharpie doodles, and Pam Bondi playing DOJ Barbie as his enforcer.

Let’s be clear: Kamala’s “to-do list” was about actual governing—fixing health care, protecting reproductive rights, stabilizing democracy. You know, boring adult stuff like making sure people can afford insulin and keeping the lights on in Washington. Trump’s “list” looks more like the scribbled rage notes of a mall cop who got fired for sleeping on the job. He doesn’t want to govern; he wants to settle grudges from the last forty years. If you once said mean things about his hair, his spray tan, or his tragic escalator entrance, congratulations—you’re on the list.

And who better to weaponize the nation’s top law enforcement agency than Pam Bondi, the woman whose résumé is basically “Fox News pundit” and “loyal Trump parrot.” She’s not Attorney General material—she’s a cosplay version of it, all glossy veneers and rehearsed outrage, holding subpoenas like fashion accessories. Lady Justice is supposed to be blindfolded; under Trump and Bondi, she’s wearing false lashes and peeking out to make sure she’s arresting the “right” people—the ones who ever dared cross Dear Leader.

The hypocrisy is Olympic-level. For years, Trump shrieked about the “weaponization” of the DOJ, about how Democrats were running witch hunts. Now? The Mango Moron has strapped the DOJ to his private jet and turned it into his own hit squad. It’s not about justice; it’s about vengeance. It’s not about law; it’s about loyalty. And Bondi, ever the eager Barbie doll, smiles for the cameras while she sharpens the knives.

The sad part is—it’s all so predictable. Trump doesn’t do “policy.” He does vendettas. His idea of a second-term agenda is a scrapbook of grudges. His vision for America is simple: a nation run by one man’s fragile ego. And if you dare laugh at the emperor’s orange clothes, you’re in legal jeopardy.

Kamala Harris saw it coming. She told us the truth. And now, while she keeps ticking off her to-do list, Trump and his DOJ Barbie are busy scribbling new names onto the enemies list. It’s government by tantrum, law enforcement by vendetta, democracy by demolition derby.

We could have had adults in the room. Instead, we’ve got Donnie and his doll.