Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Mike Johnson, the self-anointed messianic shepherd of the House Republicans, has done it again. With one hand raised to heaven and the other clutching a Bible that he reads far more selectively than the Constitution, he has sent his congregation of legislators on vacation—hallelujah!—while the federal government teeters on the edge of collapse. Negotiating with Democrats? Perish the thought. Acknowledging that this shutdown is a monument to GOP cruelty? Blasphemy.

And yet, with all the zeal of a televangelist promising salvation for three easy payments, Johnson insists—hand to God—that the Republican Party is the only one truly concerned about the healthcare of Americans. You know, the same party that’s been trying to dismantle the Affordable Care Act since before it even took effect, that votes against expanding Medicaid, and that now wants to gut the only federal law ensuring emergency medical care for anyone. Yes, that one. Praise be.

While Democrats are fighting to extend the ACA supplemental benefits that keep millions of working-class Americans insured, Johnson’s holy warriors are frothing over EMTALA—the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act. For those blissfully unaware, EMTALA is the Reagan-era law requiring hospitals to treat anyone who shows up in the ER, regardless of insurance status, ability to pay, or immigration papers. It’s the law that prevents the U.S. from descending into full medieval triage at the hospital doors.

But here’s the kicker: EMTALA isn’t some Democratic fever dream hatched in a progressive think tank. It was actually signed into law by Ronald Reagan—the GOP’s patron saint of deregulation, union busting, and trickle-down economics. Yes, the same Reagan who Republicans invoke like a talisman anytime they need to sanctify tax cuts for billionaires also gave us the legal guarantee that hospitals can’t just leave people bleeding on the sidewalk. Apparently, even the Gipper thought “let them die” wasn’t the best look for America.

Fast forward nearly forty years, and Reagan’s moral vestige has become the GOP’s latest punching bag. The same Republicans who quote scripture about loving thy neighbor are now raging that hospitals must, in fact, love their neighbors—especially if that neighbor happens to be undocumented. Because in the Gospel according to Mike Johnson, compassion has a citizenship requirement.

And while Democrats are at the negotiating table trying to prevent millions from losing their healthcare, Johnson has effectively slammed the door and said, “We’ll pray on it.” His caucus, ever faithful, is now off enjoying a taxpayer-funded recess, leaving the country on the verge of shutdown. The parks will close, federal workers will go unpaid, veterans’ services will stall—but hey, at least no one’s accidentally helping an uninsured immigrant get a tetanus shot.

And has anyone bothered to ask Johnson or his disciples what they’d do if the roles were reversed? Imagine one of them in France or the UK—countries with actual universal healthcare—suffering from a burst appendix, only to be told, “Sorry, no treatment, you’re not a citizen.” Would they nobly accept the free-market logic? Or would they unleash a Fox News-worthy meltdown about “foreign healthcare tyranny”? You just know they’d expect first-class treatment, citizenship be damned.

But back home, they’re perfectly fine holding the entire federal government hostage to make a point about who “deserves” care. Because this isn’t about healthcare, budgets, or border policy—it’s about cruelty, plain and simple. Cruelty wrapped in piety, disguised as fiscal responsibility, and broadcast with the smug certainty of a man who believes God personally approves his talking points.

So here we are again: the government shutdown while Mike Johnson leads his flock in another sermon about moral values. Democrats are fighting to keep people insured; Republicans are fighting to keep people out of the ER. And in between them stands EMTALA—Reagan’s inconvenient ghost of decency, haunting a party that’s long since exorcised compassion from its platform.

Because in the great Compassion-Off of 2025, Mike Johnson may claim divine authority, but the only miracles his leadership seems to produce are suffering, hypocrisy, and another looming shutdown. Amen and pass the hospital bill.