Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Let’s get something straight — Donald Trump does not own the White House. I know, I know, he certainly strutted around like he had just closed escrow on Pennsylvania Avenue, but despite his best Mar-a-Lago sales pitch, that iconic building does not bear his name in gold-plated letters. The White House is, and always has been, the People’s House — which makes Trump, at best, a tenant. And not even a good one. More like that loud guy who moves in, tears down walls without asking, throws wild parties, and then claims the landlord should thank him for “adding value.”

Let’s look at this like a lease agreement, shall we? The people — that’s us — own the property. We, the taxpayers, maintain it, clean it, heat it, and supply it with everything from Secret Service agents to toilet paper. Every four years, we decide who gets to live there rent-free and pretend to know what’s best for the country. It’s a temporary arrangement, like a very fancy Airbnb — only the security deposit is democracy itself.

But Trump, bless his orange-tinted heart, acted like he was the new landlord in town. He stomped through the halls like a reality TV mogul inspecting “his” property, scowling at the furniture as if it should have been upholstered in MAGA red. He slapped his name on everything else in America — hotels, steaks, water, even a so-called “university” — so it’s easy to see why he thought the White House might be next. But sorry, Donnie, the National Park Service doesn’t do branding deals.

And here’s the thing about being a tenant: you don’t get to make “improvements” without permission. You don’t bulldoze the rose garden, rip out the ramps, or hang gold curtains without at least running it past the owner. Yet Trump spent four years doing metaphorical (and occasionally literal) demolition work — taking a sledgehammer to norms, institutions, and truth itself — as though he had an HGTV show called Flip This Democracy.

Every president before and since understands the deal: the house is borrowed, the power is borrowed, and the respect should be earned. But Trump, ever the real estate huckster, never met a lease he didn’t try to break or a rule he didn’t try to rewrite. And when the eviction notice came due in January 2021, he did what every bad tenant does — refused to leave, broke a few windows, and tried to convince the neighbors the landlord was stealing from him.

So let’s make this perfectly clear: Donald Trump doesn’t own the White House. He never did. He was just squatting there on a four-year lease, and the landlord — We the People — have every right to change the locks.