Dwain Northey (Gen X)

December—the twelfth and final month of the year, the grand finale, the big wrap-up, the universally accepted “we’re almost done, thank god” on the calendar. And yet, for anyone with even the faintest memory of a prefixes worksheet, the name sits there like a math error no one bothered to correct. Deca means ten. Ten! As in not twelve. As in “someone in ancient Rome needed a calculator.”

But no, the Romans were very proud of their numbering system, which—fun fact—did not include zero. This might explain a lot.

Originally, December actually was the tenth month, back in the days of the old Roman calendar, a cute little 10-month setup that ran from March to December. January and February didn’t exist yet, presumably because winter was an unpleasant inconvenience the Romans preferred to pretend wasn’t real—sort of like how modern people treat their inboxes.

Then someone finally realized, “Hey, the seasons aren’t lining up with the calendar,” and after a few too many political ego trips, calendar reforms, and probably a lot of wine, the Romans added January and February to the front of the year. A logical move—except they left the names of the other months exactly as they were. Because why fix the thing that’s obviously broken when you can just shrug historically and walk away?

Thus, December—“the tenth month”—became the twelfth month and just kept the name, as if no one would notice. And apparently, no one did. For centuries. Millennia, even. Now we all casually accept a calendar system where the months named Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten are… months nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. It’s the chronological equivalent of labeling your kitchen drawers “Forks,” “Spoons,” “Knives,” and “Random Batteries & Scissors,” only to discover that none of the forks are actually where they’re supposed to be.

But in the end, this is humanity: we cling to tradition even when it makes no sense, we keep names long after they’ve stopped being accurate, and we nod politely at a calendar that insults our basic math skills.

Happy December—the month that reminds us, every year, that numbers are mostly a suggestion.