Dwain Northey (Gen X)

So there stood JD Vance in Phoenix this weekend, beard carefully cultivated to signal “I’m rugged but thoughtful,” delivering a Turning Point speech that can best be summarized as: This is a white Christian nation, and if you think that sounds racist, well, that’s because you just don’t understand how not-racism works anymore.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

According to Vance’s rhetorical gymnastics, declaring America a “white Christian nation” isn’t racist at all. No, no—racism is when you mean it in a bad way. This, apparently, is the heritage version. Like saying, “I’m not excluding anyone, I’m just loudly defining the country in a way that excludes most people historically, culturally, and demographically.” Totally different.

The logic goes something like this:

America was founded by white Christians → therefore America is a white Christian nation → therefore anyone who doesn’t fit that description is merely a guest who should stop rearranging the furniture. See? Not racism. Just… architectural nostalgia.

And don’t worry, Vance isn’t saying non-white, non-Christian Americans don’t belong. He’s just saying they belong conditionally, so long as they accept that the country’s “real” identity was already decided without them, by people who didn’t think they were people. That’s not discrimination—that’s tradition.

Critics might point out that the Constitution very explicitly avoided establishing a national religion, and that the First Amendment exists precisely because the founders were terrified of theocratic nonsense. But JD Vance has discovered a clever workaround: simply ignore the parts of American history that are inconvenient and declare vibes as facts. If it feels like a white Christian nation to him and a cheering crowd in Phoenix, who are we to bring up things like pluralism, immigration, or reality?

And when people inevitably say, “Hey, that sounds racist,” the defense is airtight: You’re the real racist for noticing. Because in 2025 conservative discourse, naming whiteness is only racist if a liberal does it. When the right does it, it’s just “telling the truth” or “defending Western civilization,” which is apparently so fragile it needs constant protection from food trucks, textbooks, and anyone praying in the wrong direction.

What makes the whole performance especially rich is the faux victimhood layered on top. Vance speaks as if white Christians are an endangered species, bravely clinging to survival while controlling most political institutions, the Supreme Court, and a disproportionate share of wealth. It’s less “oppressed minority” and more “still mad we have to share.”

So no, JD, proclaiming America a white Christian nation isn’t magically “not racist” because you said it with confidence and a beard. It’s racist because it reduces a wildly diverse, secular constitutional republic into a monochrome fantasy where some Americans are clearly more “real” than others.

But sure—tell us again how this is about unity. Just as soon as everyone agrees on who actually counts.