Dwain Northey (Gen X)

On Christmas morning, Billy tore through wrapping paper like it owed him money. He knew—absolutely knew—there would be an AR-15 under the tree, because the internet had told him that’s what freedom looked like now.

Instead, he found two envelopes.

The first was a certificate for a firearm safety course, taught by actual instructors with actual credentials, conspicuously not sponsored by the NRA, YouTube influencers, or a guy named “Tactical Dave.”

The second was a membership to a shooting range where:

All firearms stayed at the range All ammunition stayed at the range All usage happened under supervision And nobody yelled “from my cold dead hands” at the check-in desk

Billy blinked. Confused. Betrayed.

His wise relative sipped coffee and said, “You don’t start with power tools either, kid. You start with instructions.”

At the course, Billy learned boring, uncool things—like muzzle discipline, trigger awareness, and how quickly accidents happen when confidence outruns competence. At the range, he learned something even more shocking: shooting was fine, controlled, and kind of… ordinary. No hero music. No cosplay. Just responsibility.

By the end, Billy realized something deeply un-viral:

that respecting guns mattered more than owning one,

that safety was the real flex,

and that most problems in life are not improved by adding a rifle.

That Christmas, Billy didn’t get an AR-15.

He got perspective.

And honestly, in 2025, that might be the rarest gift of all. 🎄