Dwain Northey (Gen X)

This administration, and the Republicans cheering it on, have developed a truly remarkable relationship with the Constitution: they treat it like a buffet. The First Amendment? Sacred—when it’s their speech, their flags, their grievances. The Second Amendment? Oh, practically tattooed on their souls. “Shall not be infringed” is recited with the confidence of someone who’s never read another line of the document.

They even remember the Fifth Amendment—mostly because mob movies taught them the phrase “I plead the Fifth,” which comes in handy when subpoenas start flying and microphones get dangerous.

But somewhere between Amendments Two and Five, a few pages seem to have fallen out of the book. The Fourth Amendment—yes, the one about unreasonable searches and seizures—has apparently been reclassified as a suggestion. ICE tramples over it daily, and the administration shrugs like, “Well, that’s just how things work now.” No warrant? No probable cause? No problem. Efficiency over legality—very on brand.

And while we’re here, the right to counsel (hello, Sixth Amendment) also seems to vanish the moment the person involved has the wrong accent, skin tone, or zip code. Funny how constitutional rights are treated as universal until they become inconvenient.

In other words, they treat the Bill of Rights exactly the way they treat the Ten Commandments: loudly brandish the ones that justify their behavior, quietly ignore the ones that restrain it. “Thou shalt not tread on me” is gospel—right up until they’re the ones doing the treading.

The Constitution, it turns out, isn’t their moral compass. It’s just a prop. And like any prop, it’s only brought out when it helps the performance.