Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Ah yes, here we go again. January has arrived, winter has done that shocking, never-before-seen thing called being cold, and suddenly the climate-change denial circuit is back on tour like a washed-up classic rock band that only knows one song.

There’s an Arctic blast in Georgia and northern Texas, which apparently means global warming has been officially canceled. Someone alert the scientists, shred the data, and unplug the satellites—Debra’s porch thermometer dipped below freezing, and that’s all the peer review we need. Climate science, defeated by a hoodie and a Facebook post.

This happens every year, like clockwork. Winter shows up, temperatures drop, and a chorus rises: “If the planet is warming, why am I cold?”—as if climate is supposed to pause politely for regional weather and seasonal patterns. By that logic, summer heat waves disprove winter, and umbrellas invalidate droughts.

Of course, the same people will be mysteriously silent when it’s 112 degrees in October, when hurricanes are turbo-charged, or when wildfires turn entire states into barbecue pits. That’s just “weather.” But a cold snap in January? That’s a smoking gun. Case closed.

So welcome back, climate denial. Enjoy your brief seasonal resurgence. We’ll see you again next January, riding in triumphantly on a snowflake, confidently explaining that because it’s cold outside today, physics itself must be a liberal conspiracy.