Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Not long ago, we were told—loudly, proudly—that this was America’s deal, America’s fight, and we didn’t need a single ally. Fast forward five minutes, and suddenly the same voice is out there asking the rest of the world to jump in. And the response? A global chorus of, “You started it. You handle it.”

Europe? Busy.

Asia? Also busy.

Everyone else? Mysteriously unavailable.

Turns out when you spend years insulting allies and torching relationships, they don’t sprint to your side the moment things get complicated. Who knew?

But don’t worry—we’re reassured that we don’t actually need them anyway. That’s right: we’re simultaneously begging for help and declaring independence from help. It’s less foreign policy, more emotional rollercoaster.

And then comes the strategy—if you can call it that. The war, we’re told, will end when he “feels it in his bones.” Not based on objectives, intelligence, or conditions on the ground—just a good old-fashioned skeletal hunch. Somewhere, apparently, there’s a femur whispering, “Wrap it up.”

But the real masterpiece is the reasoning for the war itself: Iran’s nuclear threat. Urgent. Existential. Can’t wait.

Which is fascinating, because we were also told not that long ago that Iran’s nuclear capability had been “completely obliterated.” Gone. Finished. Problem solved.

So now we’re left with a simple question:

If it was already obliterated… what exactly are we fighting about?

Did the nuclear program grow back? Did it reassemble itself out of sheer determination? Or—and this is a wild thought—was it never actually “obliterated” in the first place?

And let’s not forget, there was a deal in place that limited and monitored Iran’s nuclear program. Inspections, restrictions, oversight—the boring, effective stuff. But that was scrapped, because apparently diplomacy isn’t nearly as satisfying as detonations.

So here we are:

A nuclear threat that was supposedly eliminated… but now justifies a war A deal that managed it… intentionally dismantled Allies we “don’t need”… being asked for help And a war timeline dictated by bone-based intuition

It’s like canceling your fire insurance, declaring your house fireproof, then calling the neighbors for buckets when the roof starts burning—while insisting you had it under control the whole time.

At this point, the only consistent strategy is inconsistency: say everything, contradict it later, and hope nobody notices the gap between “obliterated” and “urgent threat.”

And if they do? Don’t worry. The bones will let us know what to say next.