Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Ah yes, the latest entry in the “ideas that definitely won’t end civilization” file: the brilliant suggestion—apparently floated by Newt “Ginger” Gingrich—that we solve problems by… nuking a canal into existence. Because when you think “infrastructure project,” you obviously think “thermonuclear detonation,” not, say, shovels or engineers.

Now, whether Gingrich actually meant it or was just spitballing in that special way certain politicians do—where every sentence sounds like it was brainstormed during a sugar high in a war room—is almost beside the point. The real question is: did Donald Trump hear it?

Because if he did, we all know how this script goes.

Step one: hear something wildly impractical.

Step two: misunderstand it completely.

Step three: repeat it confidently, louder, and with more adjectives.

Step four: insist it’s “never been done before, people are saying it’s genius.”

And suddenly, we’re one rally away from a proposal to “open up beautiful new waterways using the best nukes, tremendous nukes, nobody nukes canals like we do.”

Of course, there’s the tiny, nitpicky issue that nuclear explosions tend to come with side effects—radiation, global outrage, the minor inconvenience of turning nearby geography into a glowing cautionary tale—but let’s not get bogged down in details. Details are for experts, and experts, as we all know, are highly suspicious people who keep ruining great ideas with “facts.”

So is it true Gingrich seriously suggested nuking a canal? Maybe, maybe not. But is it believable that the idea could bounce around the echo chamber, pick up a few layers of confidence, and emerge as a fully formed “policy concept” endorsed by Donald Trump?

Absolutely.

Because in this era, the only thing more reliable than bad ideas… is their ability to somehow get worse once they’re repeated.