Esoteric Meandering Shouting Into the Void

As with Santa Claus, the legend of Robin Hood has spread across many cultures through the centuries as an emblem of merriment, generosity, and other lovable aspects of human nature. Whether he’s robbing the rich to give to the poor, outwitting the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham, or laughing it up with his Merry Men in Sherwood Forest, the heroic outlaw has been immortalized through song, in print, and on the big screen by way of dashing A-listers from Douglas Fairbanks to Russell Crowe.

But unlike with Santa, there’s something inherently realistic about this English folk hero. There are no flying reindeer in his tales — only flying arrows that highlight his skill as a marksman. And while he embodies such noble values as friendship, loyalty, and devotion to justice, he achieves his goals without the kind of extra-worldly powers that prominently feature in a superhero movie. As a result, it’s not surprising that many historians over the years have sought to pinpoint whether there was an actual Robin Hood — or at least a real-life inspiration for the legend.

Part of the problem with taking on that task is sorting through Robin’s shifting identity in the various historical works that mention him. Depending on where you look, Robin Hood was either a yeoman or a fallen noble; a native of Nottinghamshire, Yorkshire, or Barnsdale; a veteran of the Crusades or territorial battles against the Normans; and a contemporary of King John, Henry III, or Edward III.

So perhaps it’s best to start by digging into the original material. The first ballads devoted to his exploits — A Gest of Robyn Hode, Robin Hood and the Monk, and Robin Hood and the Potter — are all dated to the 15th century. Familiar elements of Robin emerge from these narratives, including his camaraderie with Little John and his clashes with the Sheriff of Nottingham. On the other hand, there’s no specific mention of redistributing wealth between the rich and the poor, and these early versions of Robin possess a pious devotion to the Virgin Mary instead of a yearning for Maid Marian.  

But these tales aren’t the earliest surviving mentions of the famed forest bandit.  That distinction goes to the allegorical poem Piers Plowman, penned by William Langland circa 1377, which references a chaplain’s fluency with the “rymes of Robyn Hood.” In other words, Robin was already an established character in late-14th-century England.

Going back even further, we find what seems to be an important clue: The records of numerous 13th-century English towns list crimes perpetrated by a “Robehod,” “Rabunhod,” or other similarly named individuals. Thanks to careful cross-checking by researchers, which revealed that some of these monikers had been changed from their original form, we know that these variations of “Robin Hood” were commonly given to criminals of the time period.

Perhaps these names were derived from one particularly famous outlaw? That’s the theory of longtime U.K. National Archives employee David Crook, who points to a criminal named Robert of Wetherby, aka Robert Hod, as ground zero of the legend. According to Crook’s research, a manhunt spearheaded by the sheriff of the town of Nottingham led to the high-profile capture and execution of Wetherby in 1225. As the heavy taxes of the era were understandably unpopular throughout Henry III’s kingdom, it’s certainly possible that an authority-defying figure like Wetherby became a folk hero among his fellow disgruntled subjects.

Following a different trail of clues, retired lecturer and author David Baldwin is among those who suggest that Robin’s real-life inspiration was drawn from another royal antagonist named Roger Godberd. A fugitive after participating in Simon De Montfort’s failed rebellion in the 1260s, Godberd was known to terrorize wealthy travelers from his hideout in Sherwood Forest, and even once managed to escape imprisonment following his capture by the Nottingham sheriff.

Other historians have noted the similarities between Robin Hood and even earlier English outlaws. Both Fulk FitzWarren, a temperamental lord who clashed with King John, and Eustace the Monk, a man of the cloth turned pirate, were early-13th-century figures who saw their lives embellished in verse. According to the texts, both men camped out in the woods and managed to capture a local sheriff or count through deceptive means; specific lines from A Gest of Robin Hoodare seemingly lifted from these predecessors’ stories. 

Or maybe the real Robin was a proponent of law and order as opposed to a thorn in the side of the English crown? To some, that presents a strong case for William of Kensham, a loyalist who rose from obscurity to help stop Louis VIII’s takeover of Britain from 1216 to 1217. Known for his skill with the longbow, and for ambushing French troops in the forests of southeast England, William was widely celebrated for his successes and may well have inspired subsequent generations with his record of gallantry.

Ultimately, given the lack of concrete information about his origins and the plausibility of several candidates, we’ll likely never know for sure whether this merriest of outlaws was inspired by one particular person. What we can say with more certainty is that the Robin Hood we know today is a composite of both real-life figures and the ruminations of numerous storytellers, his legend having been constantly reshaped, broken down, and reimagined into one that has endured for the ages.

Lyle Northey (Silent/Boomer)

We have got a DICKtator in the White House. He is pulling out all the stops with the executive orders and firing people and even going so far as to tell other countries what they will and won’t do, on his authority. He has never been sane as in normal, with even the slightest sense of humanity or compassion. If that isn’t a sign of mental illness, what is? He was calling for Biden to be removed because of “declining mental problems” so why is no one calling for removal on the basis of outright insanity?

     It would seem that some of the mental problems must be catching when Senators say they are unconcerned about the actions taken by the King. The Supreme Court did give him the power to do as he likes without consequence which would indicate that the disease has spread to multiple people. How many more are sporting the illness and where is the vaccine? Our Constitution is written with the “We the People” determine the way things should be done, not we sit on our hands and let power hungry idiots determine our fate.

     The order to comfirm all of the people Trump named for cabinet positions is another reason to not comfirm them. The school yard bully is back at the gate trying to steal everyones lunch money. This is serious, we are looking at who is setting in the chairs of investigations, intelligence, and medical issues and he wants to put unqualified, beliegerent and loyal only to him people in charge. The nation is at risk with this type of damned foolishness. He managed to get the defense dept head in and that will mean Pete is going to attempt to put together a loyalist military unit that will go and do whatever is asked of them without question.

Because vending machines are now automated, they can feel like a relatively modern invention. However, the basic contraption has actually been around for more than 2,000 years. Introduced around the first century CE by Greek engineer and mathematician Heron of Alexandria, the first vending machine didn’t deliver snacks — it dispensed holy water. Similar to modern machines, Heron’s device required inserting a coin into a slot. The coin fell onto a pan that was connected to a lever, which opened a valve on the other end where the holy water flowed out. The pan continued to move under the weight of the coin until, eventually, the coin slid off. The lever would then raise back to its initial state and close the valve, stopping the flow of water.

The machine — described by Heron as a “sacrificial vessel” — was made to limit the amount of holy water people were using at ancient temples. (This was during the Hellenistic period, when Alexandria was a multicultural hub for various Roman, Greek, and Egyptian faiths.) Heron’s invention didn’t stick around with any regularity until centuries later, however. Throughout the 1600s and 1700s, coin-operated machines were used to sell tobacco in English taverns, and by the 1800s, they were selling everything from banned literary works to stamps. In 1888, a new chewing gum called Tutti-Frutti appeared in custom penny-operated vending machines on New York City subway platforms, introducing the United States to vending machines as we know them today.

Ancient Egyptian royals were often buried with objects they believed were needed for a harmonious transition to the afterlife. Items such as jewelry and games were common inclusions in their tombs, as were everyday staples such as clothing and food. And while we might expect any ancient food to decompose past the point of recognition, archaeologists have actually uncovered 3,000-year-old pots of honey that were, remarkably, intact — and still edible.

Honey’s extraordinary shelf life is the result of several factors. Its low water content and high sugar levels create an environment that’s inhospitable to bacterial growth, and it also contains trace amounts of hydrogen peroxide, which acts as a natural microbial inhibitor. While other foods with similar sugar makeup tend to spoil faster, honey has its sophisticated alchemists to thank for its resilience: Bees use their rapidly flapping wings to evaporate most of the honey’s water, and an enzyme in their stomachs contributes to honey’s unique antibacterial property. Egyptians were some of the earliest known organized beekeepers, and along with sending honey into the next life with the deceased, they also offered the sweet substance to their deities.

The Rocky Mountains have had many names since humans first came into contact with them, some more fanciful than others. Their current moniker comes from the Plains Cree term ᐊᓯᓃᐘᒋᐩ, usually transcribed as asinîwaciy and literally meaning “rocky mountain” or “alp.” The first European to describe the pride of Colorado was explorer Jacques Legardeur de Saint-Pierre, who gave them their current name when he called the mountains “montagnes de Roche” in a 1752 journal entry. Four decades later, the John Reid Company published a map in which they were called the Stony Mountains.

Another journal, this one belonging to fur trader Gabriel Franchere and written between 1811 and 1814, claimed “the first travellers called them the ‘Glittering Mountains,’ on account of the infinite number of immense rock crystals, which, they say, cover their surface, and … reflect to an immense distance the rays of sun.” The Rockies have also been called the Mountains of Bright Stones and the Shining Mountains, each name a testament to how striking they are.

The Roman Empire is responsible for countless innovations that are still used on a daily basis, but it would be putting it lightly to say that medical science has advanced quite a bit since Rome fell. Given that — as well as all the gladiators, wars, and assassinated emperors — it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise to learn that life expectancy in ancient Rome was just 35 years. Yet the real culprit behind that figure is actually the infant mortality rate at the time, as some 25% of babies born in the first century CE didn’t make it past 1 year old, and only half survived past the age of 10.

Life expectancy is an average, and one that has tended to increase over time, but lifespan hasn’t actually changed much in human history. Indeed, it was not uncommon for ancient Romans to live to a ripe old age. Gordian I was 81 when he became emperor of Rome, and Roman statesman Cicero’s wife Terentia lived to be 103, for instance. Pliny the Elder (who, despite his moniker, lived to be just 55 before dying in the eruption of Mount Vesuvius) was particularly impressed by one centenarian he studied. He wrote, “The solitary instance of Xenophilus, the musician, who lived one hundred and five years without any infirmity of body, must be regarded then as a kind of miracle.”

The Grand Canyon is bigger than the state of Rhode Island.

The Grand Canyon attracts millions of visitors to northern Arizona each year, all hoping to snap an amazing photo of the canyon’s vast landscape. The mile-deep gorge is the centerpiece of such an expansive view that it can’t all be seen at once; at 277 miles long and up to 18 miles wide, the Grand Canyon is so large, it creates its own weather. In fact, getting a view from its two most popular rims (aka tops) requires nearly five hours of travel time. 

The Grand Canyon is under the care of the National Park Service, yet the park boundaries don’t contain it entirely; the portion protected by Grand Canyon National Park totals 1,904 square miles, a span larger than the smallest U.S. state. In comparison, the tiny East Coast state of Rhode Island contains just 1,214 square miles.

Today, the Grand Canyon is the second-most-visited national park (bested only by the Great Smoky Mountains in 2022). Until the mid-1800s, however, little was known about the area, thanks to its remoteness. Spanish conquistadors who explored the region in 1540 had little to note of its magnificence, and an 1857 report from an American expedition through the canyon described the 6 million-year-old area as “altogether valueless,” with “nothing to do but leave.” Such declarations impeded progress in turning the natural wonder into a national park when President Benjamin Harrison first moved to protect the area in 1893 as a forest reserve; President Theodore Roosevelt designated it a national monument in 1908. It would take a third president — Woodrow Wilson — and 11 more years for the Grand Canyon to become the awe-inspiring national park it is today.

Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Executive Orders have been used by every President in our nation’s history, but no one has attempted to circumvent the rule of law and our Constitution until now. Donny’s Executive Orders are petty and vindictive and from what I have seen do nothing that will move the country and the government forward. He wants to defy the Constitution and ban Birth Right Citizenship, repeal lower prescription drug prices, pull funding from the Biden Era infrastructure plan designed to fix roads and bridges, basically reverse any legislation passed in the past 4 years. He is actively trying to implement schedule F and purge government employees that are not loyal to him, (those that won’t pledge that the 2020 election wasn’t rigged against him).

You know all the things he promised he was going to fix.

Now that we are squarely in the FAFO portion of the retribution tour I can only hope that there are some members of the GOP that still have spines, but hope is like pissing in the wind with this group of jellyfish.

The Great and Powerful (ODD) has even attacked clergy because they, actually, spoke the truth that Christ commanded asking for mercy for those he has personally attacked. The sign of true power is to look down on and subjugate others while holding yourself in the highest regard… I forget what Bible text that is from (DIckarotimy 1:1) maybe someone fact check me.

Now he is going to North Carolina and California because… well just because he must continue the big lie. He is confident that the Hurricane that hit the Carolinas wasn’t addressed by FEMA and he knows how to manage fires and magically move water, ‘like no one has ever seen…’ I am sure that he can inform firefighters how to stop fires in the middle of a draught and high winds… I mean really, he has won his own golf clubs’ tournament more than once he obviously knows and thing or two about a thing or two.

The first known use of “OMG” was in a letter to Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill’s remarkable life was filled with genuine “OMG” moments, from withstanding the disastrous Gallipoli campaign during the First World War to leading Britain through World War II as prime minister. Churchill held a front-row seat to many history-defining moments, even including the little-known origin of the term “OMG” itself. 

The expression “OMG,” an acronym for “oh my god,” became popular as early internet lingo during the 1990s. But the first known use of the acronym actually dates back to a letter written to Churchill in 1917, while he was serving as first lord of the admiralty in the British navy. The letter was written by John Arbuthnot Fisher, who, as first sea lord (the navy’s highest ranking officer), often quarreled with Churchill.  In the 1917 missive, Fisher wrote, “I hear that a new order of Knighthood is on the tapis [table] — O.M.G. (Oh! My God!) — Shower it on the Admiralty!!” Sadly for the linguistically hip Fisher, neither Churchill, the navy, nor the British people adopted his clever quip. It wasn’t until the arrival of the internet age some 70 years later that the “OMG” acronym exploded in popularity.