Dwain Northey (Gen X)

Ah yes, the proud American tradition: if the rest of the world is doing something logical, efficient, and forward-looking, we simply… don’t. Not out of inability, of course—no, no—out of principle. We didn’t spend decades putting a man on the moon just to be told by Europe that a kilometer makes more sense than a mile. A thousand meters in a kilometer? Clean, divisible, rational? Absolutely not. Give us 5,280 feet in a mile or give us confusion.

It’s really a beautiful consistency when you think about it. We’ve mastered the art of selective stubbornness. The metric system? Too modern, too global, too… cooperative. But abandoning long-term planning on energy, infrastructure, and climate? Now that’s innovation. That’s the kind of bold, trailblazing decision-making that really sets a nation apart—preferably behind everyone else.

While much of the world is out there installing wind farms, covering deserts in solar panels, and talking about “sustainability” like it’s not some kind of exotic hobby, we’ve taken a more nostalgic approach. Why move forward when you can double down on the past? Fossil fuels built this country, and by God, they’ll clog its lungs on the way out too. Progress is overrated anyway—who needs clean energy when you’ve got a perfectly good 20th-century playbook?

Meanwhile, other nations are treating renewable energy like the next industrial revolution, investing in it like it might actually matter in, say, the next 50 years. But here, we’ve cracked the code: just assume the future will sort itself out. It’s a strategy that pairs nicely with our measurement system—both rooted firmly in the idea that change is suspicious and inconvenience builds character.

And there’s something almost poetic about it. We’re watching the global race toward cleaner energy and saying, “You go ahead, we’ll catch up later.” Because if there’s one thing history has taught us, it’s that playing catch-up always works out great for global superpowers. No risks there at all.

So yes, while the rest of the world measures in meters and plans in decades, we’ll stick to feet and think in election cycles. It’s not that we can’t adapt—it’s just that we’ve chosen a different path. A slower one. A smokier one. A proudly inefficient one.

After all, leadership is overrated. Why be first when you can be… nostalgically committed to not finishing the race at all?