Dwain Northey (Gen X)

For the first time since humanity discovered that setting dead dinosaurs on fire could power a factory, the world is now generating more electricity growth from renewables than from fossil fuels. Solar, wind, hydro, wave energy — all those scary, woke electrons are finally outpacing the old “dig up sludge and light it on fire” business model. And naturally, this administration looks at that achievement the same way a medieval plague doctor might look at hand sanitizer: with deep suspicion and probably a conspiracy theory.

We’ve reached the point where even oil companies quietly admit the energy transition is happening. Not publicly, of course. Publicly they still act like solar panels are a communist plot cooked up by hippies and weather forecasters. But privately? They know. The market knows. Investors know. Utilities know. Hell, your neighbor with six Teslas and a battery wall the size of a bunker definitely knows.

Yet somehow the loudest people in government are still standing there yelling, “Coal is the future!” like a guy insisting Blockbuster is about to make a comeback.

And leading the charge, naturally, is Donald Trump, a man who talks about wind turbines the way villagers used to talk about witches. According to him, wind farms don’t exist in China — which is fascinating, because China only happens to be the world’s largest producer of wind energy. Minor detail. It would be like claiming fish don’t exist in the ocean while standing waist-deep in the Pacific holding a tuna.

Then there was the unforgettable declaration that wind turbines cause cancer. Not might. Not maybe. Cause cancer.

Now, I’m no scientist, but I feel fairly confident saying the giant white spinny thing in a field is probably not the leading carcinogen of our era. Meanwhile, fossil fuels — the thing we’ve been inhaling for over a century — are linked to lung cancer, heart disease, asthma, strokes, poisoned groundwater, and the occasional ocean catching on fire. But apparently that’s all perfectly normal because the smoke comes from “real American energy.”

You almost have to admire the commitment to the bit.

Imagine looking at a solar panel — a silent rectangle that just sits there absorbing sunlight — and deciding that’s the dangerous technology. Meanwhile, the alternative is literally burning toxic material beneath the earth’s crust and pumping the leftovers into the atmosphere like we’re trying to speedrun climate collapse.

But renewables threaten something more important than fossil fuels: nostalgia.

Because for a certain kind of politician, energy policy isn’t about efficiency or public health or the future. It’s emotional support policy for people who think every problem can be solved by reopening a coal mine and yelling at a librarian.

And the irony is brutal. The same crowd constantly screaming about “American innovation” is actively fighting the industries where the future is clearly headed. China, Europe, and other countries are pouring money into renewable infrastructure, battery storage, grid modernization, and electric transportation while parts of our government are still behaving like solar panels personally insulted their pickup truck.

We’re watching the global economy shift in real time, and these people are reacting the way horse breeders probably reacted to the first automobile. “Sure, it moves faster and doesn’t poop in the street, but can it really replace a good mule?”

The funniest part is that renewable energy is no longer some fringe environmentalist fantasy. It’s becoming cheaper. More scalable. More practical. Entire states already generate huge portions of their electricity from wind and solar because, shockingly, the sun keeps showing up for work every day without demanding subsidies or starting wars in the Middle East.

And despite decades of fearmongering, the average wind turbine has yet to leap from its foundation and attack a village.

At this point, opposing renewable energy feels less like policy and more like performance art. The facts are already here. The economics are already here. The technology is already here. The rest of the world is moving forward while some of our leaders are standing in front of a coal plant like a guy lovingly defending his fax machine.

History is going to look back on this moment and wonder how anyone thought the dangerous option was windmills while the safe option was filling the sky with combustion fumes.

But then again, this is the same political movement that looked at a global pandemic and decided the real threat was Dr. Fauci and paper masks. So perhaps expecting nuance on atmospheric chemistry was always asking a little too much.