Dwain Northey (Gen X)

We all remember hearing it growing up. Your grandmother saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Or if you were raised Gen X like me, you probably remember your dad delivering the far less delicate version: “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.”

Simple advice. Crude maybe, but effective. It basically meant that just because you think something doesn’t automatically make it important, accurate, or necessary to unleash on the rest of humanity.

Somewhere along the line though, that advice apparently got thrown out with rotary phones, leaded gasoline, and basic social decorum.

Now everybody acts like their opinion is sacred scripture carved into stone tablets and delivered from a mountain. Doesn’t matter if it’s uninformed, objectively false, wildly exaggerated, or something they learned from a meme posted by a guy whose profile picture is an eagle wearing sunglasses. They believe it with the intensity of a medieval crusader.

And worse than having the opinion is the absolute refusal to even discuss it.

That’s the part that gets me.

We used to argue. Sometimes loudly. Sometimes sarcastically. Sometimes with a dramatic eye roll and a “Jesus Christ, are you serious?” But at least there was still an understanding that conversation existed. There was room for the possibility that maybe — just maybe — you didn’t know everything.

Today? People don’t discuss. They declare.

The second somebody questions them, they act like they’re under attack. Suddenly facts are “bias,” disagreement is “hate,” and every conversation becomes a hostage negotiation with someone emotionally married to their own nonsense.

I’ll openly admit I’m no saint here. I’m fluent in sarcasm. I have perfected the exhausted eye roll. I occasionally deploy a comeback sharp enough to qualify as a misdemeanor in several states. But even then, I know my opinion is still just that — an opinion. Not gospel. Not law. Not the final word handed down from the heavens.

It’s just my take.

And honestly, most opinions are pretty useless in the grand scheme of things. They’re like belly buttons. Everybody has one, and outside of very specific circumstances, nobody really needs to see yours.

That doesn’t mean people shouldn’t think critically or speak freely. Of course they should. But somewhere we confused having a voice with having authority. We started treating confidence like expertise. Loudness became intelligence. Stubbornness became strength.

And social media poured gasoline on the whole mess.

Now every half-formed thought gets broadcast instantly to hundreds or thousands of people like it’s breaking news. No reflection. No humility. No pause to consider whether maybe this thought could’ve just stayed inside your head where it belonged.

Not every opinion deserves a standing ovation. Some deserve scrutiny. Some deserve debate. And some honestly deserve the spiritual equivalent of your grandmother narrowing her eyes from across the kitchen table and saying, “Maybe keep that one to yourself.”

Because wisdom used to include knowing when to speak.

Now people think wisdom is never shutting the hell up.