I actually have a few of them. With the caveat, that if I don’t actually do them, I will forgive myself. A few years ago, I fell down. I lost all my joy, so the last five years has been building that back up.
The two that came back immediately as daily goals-draw and read. It’s a struggle and it’s much easier to not do it, than to do it. But, and it’s a huge but, when I do struggle, it feeds me. From the active bit of DOING IT, to. the results of other people reacting to my drawing-even when I’m not so in love with the creation I made. The reading part has calmed me, grown new thoughts, helped modulate my temperment.
In the last five years, I’ve drawn mostly every week, and though the eyesight seems dimmer, the results of the drawings, even when not a great likeness are evocative, and not always due to the subject. The last five years of reading, there’s been less than five days I’ve not read, and that was due to illness.
The other things is making sure I get out and move and talk to people. Given my druthers, I’d sit in the dark, and just ruminate. My life has changed so I can no longer daily walk the miles I used to, but I’ve found other ways to do it. I think finding the balance of “outside, inside” can be hard for many of us, I know it is for me. I do these things all because they really do keep me going.
The crux for me now? Find out if I actually do have anything to share with others, have stories to tell. I’ve been reluctant to get back into that, some of it had come from a place of despair. Now that I’ve climbed out of that hole, I have every intention of looking around and finding out how it’s changed and if I have pieces of myself to offer…
Esoteric Meandering Shouting Into the Void
2 responses to “Just Smile”
I actually have a few of them. With the caveat, that if I don’t actually do them, I will forgive myself. A few years ago, I fell down. I lost all my joy, so the last five years has been building that back up.
The two that came back immediately as daily goals-draw and read. It’s a struggle and it’s much easier to not do it, than to do it. But, and it’s a huge but, when I do struggle, it feeds me. From the active bit of DOING IT, to. the results of other people reacting to my drawing-even when I’m not so in love with the creation I made. The reading part has calmed me, grown new thoughts, helped modulate my temperment.
In the last five years, I’ve drawn mostly every week, and though the eyesight seems dimmer, the results of the drawings, even when not a great likeness are evocative, and not always due to the subject. The last five years of reading, there’s been less than five days I’ve not read, and that was due to illness.
The other things is making sure I get out and move and talk to people. Given my druthers, I’d sit in the dark, and just ruminate. My life has changed so I can no longer daily walk the miles I used to, but I’ve found other ways to do it. I think finding the balance of “outside, inside” can be hard for many of us, I know it is for me. I do these things all because they really do keep me going.
The crux for me now? Find out if I actually do have anything to share with others, have stories to tell. I’ve been reluctant to get back into that, some of it had come from a place of despair. Now that I’ve climbed out of that hole, I have every intention of looking around and finding out how it’s changed and if I have pieces of myself to offer…
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good saying
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